Thursday, March 10, 2011

Inspiration for your life

Your dream is something that they'd have to kill you to stop you from doing.

On Sunday, I audited a class with the Meisner Technique Studio in San Francisco. For perhaps silly and regretful reasons, I didn't commit to the current term - yet I walked away with some deep thoughts about what is it that I really want to do with my life.

The teacher, Mr. Jarrett, is undoubtedly a man of passion. I had sat next to a boy who had hiked himself all the way from South Dakota just to be in the class. Another boy from Washington was there, who had come after seeing Jim's passionate videos.

As an intro to his students, Jim echoed some words from his great teacher Sandy Meisner. I must admit I began to tear up as the words hit home. He addressed us saying congratulations - we were doing something that less than 1% of all people have the courage to do - which is to follow your dreams. Many people just settle for a life of mediocrity and don't follow these dreams - and are just crushed by everyday life to their deathbeds. And when it came to acting, if you failed, you could go back to Iowa or wherever it was you came from and take comfort in the fact that you tried and it wasn't your dream - because if it was your dream, they'd have to kill you to stop you from doing it. But after finding that it wasn't your dream, you now had the freedom to really figure out what you actually were meant to do on this world.

The words hit me as I wondered - do I have the courage and is this really my dream? Was I here on this world for this purpose? What is something that they'd have to kill me before I would stop doing?

I don't need anyone else to tell me I can't make it in a particular field. I once was told, and not in a condescending way, that I was too frail to be an actress. The only person who can answer this truthfully is myself. My hardest critic is myself. But I, my own hardest critic, am the only one who can be in charge of following my dreams - whatever solid dream that may be. There is no one to force me to follow that path, no lover to persuade me, no parent to stop me. There will be obstacles which will attempt to thwart me, trip me up so I fall on my face - but it will still be up to me if I want to turn around or keep going. I suppose whenever I see someone up on stage or on the screen, I will wish that I could be there. But is my wish my dream?

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