Sunday, June 19, 2011

Father's Day

Three years ago, I made a call to my mom as I waited for a job interview, just to see how things were going. I wasn't expecting her to tell me my dad had had a heart attack and was being put under some sort of procedure back home in San Francisco. I immediately went numb inside. She told me not to worry yet and that'd she keep me updated. I proceeded with my interview, acting like everything was okay, but inside I was in a state of terror. I cried as I left the building.

I then took the bus back from Malibu and stopped in Santa Monica. In my state of disillusion and panic, I decided to go shopping - all with the fear that several hundred miles up north my dad was going to die. I stopped in a store that was going out of business. They had a bunch of cute cards on clearance - one of which was a father's day card. I looked at it and contemplated buying it. But I think I already knew that my dad wasn't going to make it. So I didn't buy that card.

The next week I made the panicked rush to the airport after an urgent call from my mom telling me to come home as soon as I could. I listened to the message I had missed from my sister saying my dad only had 24-48 hours left to live. I cried as I waited in the long line through security. I would fly back to Los Angeles a week or so later, with my father buried and gone. He'd never woken up from his coma. Emotionally, I probably crashed for the rest of the school year. I was without real support.

My life definitely has changed somewhat since that difficult period of my life. I am more acutely aware of how life is fleeting - not everyone will be there forever. I'm not going to live forever. Also, there won't always be someone there for you in your darkest moments.

It is with this perspective that I am living my life now. We shouldn't take anything for granted. Time goes by quickly, and as Reba McEntire once sang, the world didn't stop for my broken heart. It never has and never will.

And with that, all we can do is live our lives, live our passions, cherish our loved ones, treat others with the respect they deserve and remember that time doesn't wait. I wish you (and me) the best of luck.


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