Monday, February 28, 2011

I'd like to thank the Academy.

When I was in high school, I was a member of our Forensics team. I competed in Original Prose and Poetry, better known as OPP. One of the absolute worst pieces I had authored was a speech on how I finally won the Academy Award. I mean, out of all the pieces I had written and presented, it tanked the most badly (the others, at least, had some degree of success). I cringe at the mere memory.

I suppose it is a far and lofty dream of mine to become the first Asian American actress to win an Oscar. Let's face it, the chances of that happening (me specifically winning an Oscar) are slim to none, though it's something I fantasize about while exercising on an elliptical. I won't have my head too far removed in the clouds. How many actresses get to walk up to that podium, much less faceless Asian American ones?

My experiences in college with the various Asian American student organizations - namely APC, helped me become more aware of this 'Asian American' identity. I would like to be some sort of Asian American pioneer. That's my dream. I want to be able to make some sort of cultural impact. I look up to people like that.

I was in New York one random summer in 2007. I was with a high school friend and I vaguely mumbled something about how I wanted to be a cultural icon. My friend laughed and basically said, well what are you doing now?

Sigh. What am I doing now? I want to follow my dreams before all hope within me crumbles and before time slips away even more. Yet, I still want other things in my life, which may be more important than my dreams. I want to find my love, and yes this should be done at a younger age because God knows it gets harder. I want to be financially secure! I want to be a professional! I must devise a way to have it all.

This past weekend, I audited a Meisner technique training class. The teacher, Jim Jarrett, talked about how he's been afforded such a great opportunity to do what he loves with his shows and teaching. He mentioned sacrifice and giving up everything for one's dreams. It takes courage, it really does. I hope I will have this courage and will find myself in a place I know I should be once again. Now, off to that goal achieving agenda!

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