"A Fragile Dream"

Last weekend, I shot a couple of scenes for a short film called "A Fragile Dream." As I promised in one of my blogs, I'd post some pictures - so here is the post. I only had a couple of lines, but it still took many hours! I played a Chinese teacher who spoke English and then a family friend who spoke Chinese.

Teaching is hard! I know this as I once was one.

It was a good amount of fun as the cast and crew were all amazing. It is hard to shoot with kids, though! I'm glad they were good sports.

My expression sure is charming right here.

As a reward for the hours of hard work, I got to take home some organic oranges and grapefruits fresh from the tree of the nice woman named Vicki who had let us shoot in her backyard. Yay for homegrown fruit!

Again with a charming expression!

I've also met a cool group of fellow actors/directors who hold their own workshop to practice. It has been fun - we didn't end until 2 am yesterday! I'm also going to start taking class at the Joann Barron/D.W. Brown studio next week. It means I'll have to commute to Santa Monica, so we'll see how this all works out!

And lastly, in other news - I recommend all Los Angeles based people to check out the "Art in the Streets" exhibit at the MOCA in Little Tokyo. It reminded me how crazy artists must be - but at the same time, how much detail and genius must be put in to those works of art.

It took a certain level of crazy to achieve this. On that note, I should bring my actual camera with me to capture these works of art...I haven't taken it with me anywhere at all these past few months! Shame on me.

Meant to Be Here

Have you ever woken up and wondered what the hell you were doing with your life? (excuse the language, my conservative readers) The first thought on your mind when you wake is literally one of panic, confusion, or doubt.

But have you ever had a moment where you felt that you were meant to be there at that very moment, right there and then?

I had one of those moments this past Monday at a free improv workshop in Hollywood which I decided to attend at the last minute. I didn't know a single other soul there, and yet I stood on stage with all of them as songs were sung with lots of energy and handsome French men looked on, unable to sing along to these silly American songs. It was one of those moments where I remembered I love performing - and that I belonged there. Forget the fact that my time in life has led me to far off places and paths and that I'm not an established somebody in a particular field who is getting married next week. That's all right. This was how it was meant to be.

The improv workshop was great because it reminded me I can be funny. Awesome! It also was special because the director proposed to his girlfriend on stage at the end. That's something I've never seen in my life before - a live proposal. I suppose there's always a first for everything.

This past weekend, after the Japanese clubbing extra bit below, I also shot a few scenes for a short film. Pictures and details to come once I get them!

In the meantime, as I drive down the boulevards of Burbank, Glendale, and Los Angeles and blast mainstream music...I am once again motivated to start on my projects. I must adhere to my goal statement!

Japanese Clubbing!

Well, not really. I, among many Asian-blooded Los Angeles citizens (as well as a few non-Asians), converged in Downtown LA to be an extra for a Fox TV pilot.

I was supposed to be a Japanese club-goer in Tokyo. Apparently none of the outfits I brought were up to Japanese clubbing standard (I also realize I don't have normal clubbing clothes with me), so I was dolled up with a lime green halter dress, flowery jacket, and yellow heels and had mucho fun not looking like my normal self. I had a pretty kooky get-up, if kooky is a real word - but it was fun.

I didn't realize my hair could be teased to have so much volume. By the time I had looked in the mirror and subsequently snapped this poor quality camera phone image of myself, I looked pretty worn and crazy! We didn't actually do any "clubbing" - but rather walked about on the supposed streets of Tokyo.

Extra work won't really help me advance my acting career, but it is still fun as it's a great opportunity to meet new people and chat. There is the additional pain of walking around in uncomfortable high heels for hours and sleeping at dawn, but no pain no gain as the saying goes.

Also, just for kicks - here is a photo of me during my only true trip to Tokyo. For some reason, I didn't really have many pictures of myself taken - and none with the neon lights and visually appealing parts of the city. The young man standing next to me is a random Australian musician I had met at my hostel. Take note of my fashion disaster! I later tossed those Converse shoes in the trash in Thailand as I had gotten them wet and smelly. I actually did go to a bar/club in Tokyo and that's actually a funny and disastrous story which I would have to tell in person if I didn't already. Sorry Internet!

(a following blog post will appear in a moment detailing other aspects of my recent [acting] life momentarily)

National Asian American Theater Conference

I had a blast volunteering for the SF Asian American Film Festival earlier this year and decided to volunteer for the National Asian American Theater Conference and Festival, this time in LA. The conference ran for a whole week, but I was only able to volunteer at the end as I had work during the weekdays. The festival showcased a number of performances - all varied and sometimes puzzling and incomprehensible. But it was great to see so many different faces - I even saw one of my former professors at UCLA at the show I was ushering for earlier today.

It's always great to see live performances. I personally love it when I can see the hard work reflected before me, no matter how small the stage is. I also saw a fair share of athletic body movement on stage - needless to say I'm not able to do those flips and rolls!

I also realize I'm being rather vague and dry on my blog at the moment. Perhaps it is because I am wary of the ever decreasing privacy of the large place we know as the internet. And although I do own a DSLR, I never seem to lug it around so I always have to resort to using my low-tech camera phone to snap images. Sorry about that. What's a blog without good pictures?

The One-Year Goal Statement

Back in October, I had an assignment to outline my one-year goals in regards to my relationship with acting. Yes, I just used the word relationship. Shockingly, time flew by lightning quick and it is nearing the end of June. So, with that in mind - I believe it is time for a goal audit. Comments made in red are my current reviews of my progress!

One-Year Mission Statement

Acting Related Goals to be Completed by October 2011

-          Become more knowledgeable about the Los Angeles acting community and industry

*  Reconnect with my friends who currently work in LA as actors or other professionals

Yes – though I haven’t really connected with too many other actors in LA yet! I have met some of my old friends, but not all. So this will be an ongoing process. Additionally, I will strive to meet new people as well!

-          Become more knowledgeable about history of great actors, schools, methods, and thought

*  Currently reading Uta Hagen’s Respect for Acting, next Adler’s Art of Acting

I definitely am more knowledgeable about the Meisner Technique now than I was in October.

-          Attend at least 10 live performances and learn more about the actors and directors

*  Will attend two by next week

I’m only up to five live stage performances, one stand-up comedy show, and one improve show.

-          Watch more television, where there is at least one featured Asian American actor

*  Currently starting to watch Glee after hearing so much praise

Now as I write this, I have watched every single episode of Glee. But I lagged on the rest of TV. I still don’t really know what Jersey Shore is about.

-          Read more plays, at least 10 within a year

*  I have the classic Cat on a Hot Tin Roof on my table at the moment

I finished the above play. I also had to read some plays for my next scene study class, like Dinner with Friends, so those don’t really count…but I did read some more plays for fun. I got through some Chekhov. Mmm…still some more to go.

-          Watch more significant movies. Take advantage of my Netflix subscription.

Done! Saw a great deal, but still need to watch more as people list movies and I stare at them blankly.

-          Prepare to move to LA if I can secure a job there, i.e. find roommates, make trips beforehand to get a feel for locations

*  Currently perusing career website and sending out my resume

Done! I have moved!

-          Nail auditions, at least several projects within one year.

*  Currently have gone to five or six auditions for student films in the Bay Area within the past month, but none have panned out so far.

I’ve gone to a number of auditions, but nailing things didn’t always quite work!

-          Attempt to produce own short film or at least make some more entertaining Youtube videos.

*  I have several ideas, but need to find the right equipment and/or personnel to assist me.

Fail! Lacking! Absolutely lagging on this one. I only have three months left to make my personal deadline on this.

-          Continue to train and hone acting skills. Explore sense memory. Become more natural in movements. Find new monologues.

*  Currently in process. No sense memory. Definitely need work on movement. Probably need some new monologues too because I can only drown my two kids so often.

Personal Goals

-          Improve fluency in Mandarin. Practice French and Korean if there is time.

Fail! I’m going backwards!

-          Write more short stories and continue to submit to short story contests.

Fail here!

-          Write and have articles published in some medium.

Success! Internet medium!

-          Have personal website up and running.

Kind of done, but we all know I should upgrade to The Life of Felicia Hom v.2 right?

-          Improve personal appearance. Maintain hair, find a good skin regiment, do some serious shopping.

*  Currently trying new blue light technology for my face. Results yet to be seen.

Blue light technology was a fail, but my skin actually is better thanks to the Clarisonic. Free advertising for them here.

-          Will continue to work out. Will have lost at least five pounds one year from now, preferably within the next three months.

Done! I have indeed lost five pounds (unless I gained them back already), though I didn’t accomplish it within the three months after October.

*  Currently going to the gym regularly.

-          Manage finances better. Consolidate my checking accounts.

My portfolio continues to be unmanaged, but I did consolidate one of my accounts?

-          Continue to find new hobbies.

*  Currently taking salsa class.

Still need to continue this one.

-          Practice being more confident.

I try.

       In conclusion, I still need to make up for the things that have not been done in this hot summer in LA!!!

Father's Day

Three years ago, I made a call to my mom as I waited for a job interview, just to see how things were going. I wasn't expecting her to tell me my dad had had a heart attack and was being put under some sort of procedure back home in San Francisco. I immediately went numb inside. She told me not to worry yet and that'd she keep me updated. I proceeded with my interview, acting like everything was okay, but inside I was in a state of terror. I cried as I left the building.

I then took the bus back from Malibu and stopped in Santa Monica. In my state of disillusion and panic, I decided to go shopping - all with the fear that several hundred miles up north my dad was going to die. I stopped in a store that was going out of business. They had a bunch of cute cards on clearance - one of which was a father's day card. I looked at it and contemplated buying it. But I think I already knew that my dad wasn't going to make it. So I didn't buy that card.

The next week I made the panicked rush to the airport after an urgent call from my mom telling me to come home as soon as I could. I listened to the message I had missed from my sister saying my dad only had 24-48 hours left to live. I cried as I waited in the long line through security. I would fly back to Los Angeles a week or so later, with my father buried and gone. He'd never woken up from his coma. Emotionally, I probably crashed for the rest of the school year. I was without real support.

My life definitely has changed somewhat since that difficult period of my life. I am more acutely aware of how life is fleeting - not everyone will be there forever. I'm not going to live forever. Also, there won't always be someone there for you in your darkest moments.

It is with this perspective that I am living my life now. We shouldn't take anything for granted. Time goes by quickly, and as Reba McEntire once sang, the world didn't stop for my broken heart. It never has and never will.

And with that, all we can do is live our lives, live our passions, cherish our loved ones, treat others with the respect they deserve and remember that time doesn't wait. I wish you (and me) the best of luck.

Seeing the Humble Halle Berry

On Sunday, I had the great fortune to listen to Ms. Halle Berry speak for an event for the Joanne Baron/D.W. Brown studio. Out of respect for her privacy and keeping personal details to those who were there, I will just touch on some of the points that I feel really are worth hearing.

I was really struck by how humble Halle is - she's a beautiful star, but she has really worked to be an actress. Her mom raised her and her sister alone - and from that, Halle had gained the hard work ethic which she continues to have to this day. She basically said that she did not know anyone who truly worked hard and failed. And as an actor, you must always be ready to bring it - 100% - especially if there are those who will be judging you on the way you look and don't think you'd be a fit for a role just based on your appearance. You'd have to show them otherwise.

Another idea she stressed was not to think negatively. Accept criticism, but don't always do what someone else tells you to do. No one can tell you what to do - and you must remain true to yourself. I think that's a good life lesson, which isn't just applied to acting.

I didn't know much about Halle before the event - other than her being the first African American to win the Best Actress Academy Award and other tabloid fodder. But now I see her now as being a beautiful person, much more than just a pretty face, who has fought it out and remained true to herself. She is quite an inspiration.

My life and path will be different, of course. I'm still not entirely sure how it will play out - but I know I will have to work hard, stay focused, not lose faith, and remember to be true to myself.